Tools for Brains and Hearts

I've got a new tool for keeping sanity during obsessive times. When I am obsessing over something or someone, usually a person or crush, I find myself having endless conversations with them in my head. It's really draining and troublesome because it takes me out of my body, and is opposite to my valuing mutuality as a process and conclusion. It makes me feel like I'm doing this one sided thing, like I know things, like I am figuring things out without the other person. No thanks. My new tool for when this is happening is saying outloud to stop the internal rummaging, "I'm not having this dialogue." Sometimes I say, "I'm not having this dialogue right now." It's really on point. It interrupts the silent flow of thoughts with a verbal thing I can hear and get, and also draws attention to the fact that I do not want to be having a "dialogue" by myself. It's good.

My best tool for aligning brains and hearts lately (probably up there in the top ten) is: "that's happening." I have been saying this more, and more and people have been recognizing and responding. The basic gist is to verbalize things that are happening in my brain, to bring out and acknowledge what I'm feeling, share it, and move on. It frees up room for being present without taking over, because its just a shoutout, not a topic of conversation. Hooray for tools. Hooray for this. Hooray for you and me.