March 6, 2012

The Last Song

From Jean Grae's internet bio:After working with groups including Ground Zero, she joined a hip hop music group called Natural Resource in the mid-1990s, along with rapper Ocean.

I want to say something about last night, but I don't know what it is. Something about dancing in public and something about the last song. And a little something about how that woman could sing, my god, could she sing.

We were at the Born in Flames Tour. I didn't notice, but we hadn't danced together in public in a long time. Jean Grae was bossing us into it. Calling us boring and everything. I know we really didn't need all that, but I don't blame her for trying to bring us all together. I'm not proud. It was nice to get lost in the music and feel less alone.

At certain moments, at specific resonances, I looked back to where the tall people were standing, to see if you were bopping along. My only sidetrack was thinking about college resources, the hot tub, and the grandeur of the student activity fee, and if I was being an okay stander. You could have been thinking unspeakable things. Unthinkable things that you didn't even consent to knowing. Flung onto you like a booger on a bad date. As if your limit hadn't already been reached. As if you had space to hold anything else. As if your brain could handle another layer.
And how the one person who can help you isn't going to help you. How the one person who can help you isn't going to help you.

Invincible gets on the mic. "This last song I want you to say it with me to the beat." And Jean Grae is asking us what the one thing is that keeps us going when we get to the very very bottom.

The people were so ready and knowing. Did you see how the people were so ready and knowing? B led off with love. Integrity, Trust, Consistency, and Peace were offered from the crowd. The people I thought. B and Buscrates did the two step onstage. There was a little girl who said, "my daddy" and a daddy who said "myself."

We all got into it. "Keep Going. Keep Going." And it felt like a party that came from us. From our participation. The last party I organized was a funeral, but I think I'm ready to give it another shot. Apparently, hard times require furious dancing.